If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.
A lot of you have this as your signature on your email. And y'all know you don't stand for anything. Cut it out. I don't see any of y'all marching anywhere. What's up with that? There's a lot of stuff I don't stand for. For example (I hear a lot of people going "uh oh here we go" - what's up with that?):
I don't stand for students who see you walking toward them, stand in the doorway facing you as you are getting ready to walk through the door, and wait for you to do so, so they don't have to open their side of the door. This is an epidemic on the hill . Two problems with this. The first should be the most obvious, this ain't England. We whooped their a$$es a few years ago and gained our independence. So walk through the correct side of the door. The second problem is the absolute laziness of it all. By the time you wait for me to get to the door and then walk through you could have opened the door on your side and been halfway down the hall. I'm speed challenged.There are a few ways I combat this problem. I walk up to the door and stop, I don't exit, and I stare at the student. They usually get a stupid look on their faces and open the door on their side. I walk through the door, but I don't leave enough room for them to squeeze by me. That one has gotten me called a few names - like "Rude". Seriously? The last way I handle it is to just tell the student to go through the other door. They're not usually expecting that. And it's most effective when I'm wearing my Cincinnati State sweater.
The next thing I don't stand for is bad behavior on the highway. For example. I'm not typically a speeder. So 90% of the time I stay out of the left lane. So if I'm in the slow lane AND I happen to be driving ten over the speed limit, why are you tailgating me? I don't get it. Get your a$$ in the left lane and leave me alone. Do sporks penetrate tires?
I don't stand for lactose. I'm lactose intolerant. I simply won't have it. I won't deal with it. I refuse.
I also don't stand for people who pop their gum. Go to the dentist. Get that fixed.
I'm sure that's not what your signature line on your emails meant. But whatev.
True story. Dig if you will the picture. You are a track announcer at a New Jersey horse race. As the horses wind into the final stretch the two horses in the lead happen to be named: "My Wife Knows Everything" and "The Wife Doesn't Know". This could get ugly couldn't it? Well it did apparently this weekend. Here was the call:
"Into the final furlong, my wife knows everything. The wife doesn't know. They are one and two. Of course they are. My wife knows everything in front. To the outside, the wife doesn't know. My wife knows everything. My wife doesn't know. My wife knows everything, more than the wife doesn't know."
No I'm not sure who won the race. I'm a little dizzy. The announcer's name is Larry Collmus. I hear he's working it all out in therapy. Only in New Jersey.
Chad Ochocino has tweeted his apology to Roger Goodell for his stupid behavior tweeting on the sidelines of last Friday's game:
@nflcommish Dad again I apologize 2 you for my tweet,as my father I understand you've to discipline,can we try timeout next time please :)
Dumb. A$$. Can I also get an apology from Brett Favre? For everything?
Today somebody popped popcorn in the office just as one of our staffers was walking through the door. He yelled out, "Hey I smell popcorn, what time does the movie start?" Someone else in the office (who shall remain nameless but some of you know I affectionately refer to him as my uncle) replied, "Just pull a chair up to Patrice's desk. That will be entertainment enough."
Now you tell me. Did I deserve that one?
Shut up.
The Old Spice Guy (Isaiah Mustafa) won an Emmy. Did you hear about this? I saw pictures of him wearing a suit today. It didn't look right - him wearing clothes and everything. Add him to my list of men who are allowed to pose for photos with no clothes on. Congratulations Isaiah.
I'll end today by letting you know about two things that actually made me really happy today. First, I met with my dietitian. I didn't get in as much trouble as I thought I would. She gave me a menu to start following so I'm excited about that. Second, I lost my pink bracelet at work the other day. I figured it was a done deal and I wouldn't get it back. I called our campus police department today and someone had actually turned it in. I almost cried. I LOVE this bracelet.
See people - no matter how much you rant, complain and harass folks, God is still good.
:)
Smell you later!
Love,
Leslie
No comments:
Post a Comment