The Interview.
Today I spent most of the day sitting on a hiring committee. We interviewed four candidates today. And over the course of the next week we will interview several more. We have several standard canned questions we ask: "What do you bring to this position?", "How do you handle irate customers?" "Insert Charlie Brown teacher's voice here . . ." Today one of the candidates out of nowhere asked us if we like M&M's. Seriously, I can't make this stuff up. And it made me think that we should be able to ask these candidates our own questions. Like the following:
1. Really? You're wearing that?
2. Have you ever seen a spaceship . . . while sober?
3. That was a dumb answer. I'll give you one more try and then I'm tasing you. (I know, not a question.)
4. Did I really just bang my head on the table?
5. About this break in your employment: Did it have anything to do with a meth lab?
6. Would you like my mirror so you can fix your make-up?
7. Do I have to look at your leopard bra?
8. Do you like Elmo?
9. Do you like breath mints?
10. Are you going to the club after this . . . or the stroll maybe?
11. Did you really just ask me that?
12. WRONG! (Ok, I know that's not a question.)
13. Do you like the Steelers or Cowboys? Because either is an immediate disqualification.
14. Do you eat pork?
15. Who does your hair? It's awful.
16. Whose better: Kanye West or Taylor Swift?
17. Speaking of: Do you think George Bush likes black people?
18. Do you think Oprah likes black people?
19. Do you watch Glee? Again,yes= immediate disqualification.
20. Did OJ do it?
21. Do you still live at home?
22. Judging from your attire, you look like you need a pole. Do you need a pole?
23. Are you still talking?
24. Do you know the words to "The Bed Intruder Song"?
And finally AND most importantly:
25. Do you know what a spork is?
What do you think?
Love,
Leslie
No comments:
Post a Comment