Sidepiece: A woman or man, whose boyfriend or girlfriend, is either married to or in a relationship with someone else.
Use it in a sentence? Ok. The following famous people are (or were) sidepieces: Alicia Keys, Gabrielle Union, any blonde who comes within a 2 mile radius of Tiger Woods, LeAnn Rhimes and Djimon "Give Us Free!" Hounsou.The latest reported sidepiece is Fantasia. Look it up if you hadn't heard (read "sextape"). And to celebrate the news, or according to her manager, after reading about herself in the news, she OD'd on her meds today (Google it). Here's hoping for a speedy recovery, Tasia! I guess even being a sidepiece is stressful. I'm just sayin' . . . "When I think about yoooooooou . . . .", for some reason I can't get that song out of my head. (Ok: Note to some of you: that's a line in her latest song. You just ruined the joke for everyone else. Thanks.)
Ok, so last night I went to the Reds game. I think my employer may have jinxed their bats (it was our night at the game), I'm not sure. Or it could have been the totally politically incorrectness of my group, for example, my brother Keith who told my friend Amy (who is Jewish - you'll find out why that's important in a few more keystrokes) that her stressing over getting her .25 change back from the Lemon Chill vendor (they are $4.75 and she paid with a $5) was the equivalent of him pulling out a huge piece of watermelon, sitting it on his lap and eating it right there in the ball park, rind and all. I warned you people (pun not intended) not to sit in my section.
I almost fought this stupid head at the game last night. He was wearing a Brett Favre jersey. I'm serious. Eff that. Unacceptable. Ain't no place for that at Great American Ballpark. All my life I have to fight. It's like people want to see me lose it. I really wanted to stab him in his gizzards with a spork, but I didn't have one at the time, so I pulled out my "guy whose wearing a Brett Favre jersey at the Reds Game" voodoo doll and stuck a ton of pins in its gonads. By this weekend I promise you he'll feel like he's got Herpes Simplex 10. Woosa.
Question ladies: You do know that bra straps are not part of the outfit right? I mean DANG-IT! If I see one more set of bra straps with a halter top at the college I may just stuff the guilty party in a locker (by the way someone threatened to stuff me in a locker last week but I digress). I've seen bra straps with strapless dresses and tops. Bra straps with cami shirts. Bra straps with bra straps. It's insane. What makes a woman put on a regular bra, and I don't mean a Victoria's Secret bra either, I'm talking plain old Playtex, and then put on either a halter top or strapless top and look in the mirror and go, "Damn, I look good today!" What makes you do that? A bong or something? That's not cute.
One more thing, does anyone have a banjo or overalls I could borrow? I have a feeling I may need them to fit in in West Virigina this week. Maybe I can borrow them from Favre. I hear he has both.
Nite nite.
Love,
Leslie
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