Wednesday, January 19, 2011

My Rant for the Day 8/24/10

Bicuspids - The premolar teeth or transitional teeth located between the canine and molar teeth.

I bet you think I can't use this word in a sentence but I can and I so I think I will. Here goes: "My sister, Melissa, says that any man who takes a picture nekked smilling so hard that his bicuspids are showing may be suspect."

I have been laughing, hard, real hard, every since she told me this last night.

Hysterically. All day today.

I can't share with you who inspired her little rant last night. But if he happens to find out about this - just remember we always go for the funny. It's nothing personal. And it's nobody tagged in this note so stop looking.

And that leads me to another question. Men, why do y'all do that? What makes a man think that posing nekked for a photo (or at least nekked from the tummy up) and then posting it online is sexy? It's not. It's goofy. I don't care how built you are. And it's arrogant.  Most women will tell you this: if your name is not Malik Yoba, or Idris Elba, or you are not some professional male athlete with milk on your top lip (excluding you Lorenzo F. as in eff you), it ain't cute. It just looks creepy. So knock it off. But if you insist on doing it, don't smile so hard we can see your bicuspids. (See I did it again . . .)

It's very similar to men who say they want a woman who is a lady in public but a freak in the bedroom. We'd like you to save your pecs and nips for a showing at a more appropo time thank ya very much. By the way - because I know some of my male FB friends are freaks, let me warn you: this is not an invite for any of you to show me anything. I'll spork you.

At one point while writing this I was coming to you live from the Welcome Center at Cincinnati State. I don't work in this area of the college but Kasey does. And I couldn't be her. Right now she has a lady in front of her who has probably been talking her ear off for the better part of fifteen minutes. About nothing. Well really I don't know because I put my headphones on. But anyway it's not like Kasey doesn't have anything else to do but sit here and listen to her. I used to work a frontline job like this in the Registrar's Office here. If I had to do it for five more minutes, I'd hang myself. Kasey, you are a saint - sort of. I know you're going to talk about that lady like a dog when she walks away. Ok I'll talk about the lady and you'll just laugh. I'm not a saint though.

So the season hasn't even started yet and Chad Ochocinco has already racked up a fine. $25K for tweeting during Friday's game. I have him on my FB News Feed and I saw one of the "tweets" Friday night while I was listening to it on the radio and I said to myself, "Self?  How is he doing that during the g-damn game he's playing in right the eff now?" Nimrod. Here we go already. He's like the little brother you never wanted. As much as you might love him, sometimes you just want to punch him right in those gold a$$ teeth.

Kasey shushed me y'all. That's one dead little black duck tomorrow. Just lay down on the ground Kasey because you're dead.

Today a friend and I smooved over a misunderstanding. It was awesome. You know who you are. Love ya child.

Hamilton lost to Georgia in the Little League World Series today. It sucks. Georgia blanked them 6-0. Bastards. I mean that too, the south and all . . .  Seriously, they were supposed to play yesterday but got rained out. Before they could get rained out though the umpire took a ball to the throat. I've always wanted to do that to someone. I'm jealous of the kid who got the honor. The Ump probably had it coming. Okay I'm just kidding here folks.  A little. Anyway - Hamilton plays tomorrow against Hawaii in an elimination game. If they lose it will prove what we've known all along. Hamilton ain't shiggety.  Yeah I said it. Hold on y'all, give me a twently second head start . . .

Am I the only one who hates Jennifer Hudson's version of "And I Am Telling You"?

Today an adorable young lady got in the elevator with me and my boss. She asked me how to get to the "Get There Session", which is an information session for prospective students. So I told her. She then told us she was going to try the college thing out. My boss then asked her where was she coming from. I was expecting her to tell us the name of her high school. Instead she said, "home". And looked at my boss like he was nuts.

Oy vey - it's going to be a tough year.



Love,



Leslie

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